I would like to discuss a suicidal case here..juz imagine if you peeps have a suicidal partner..how do u come to terms about it? I have a few frens whom I know, who experienced such stuffs..must've been traumatic for them..let's say each time there's disagreements,the other half threatens to kill him/herself..or worst still when you decided to call the relationship to an end and your partner hurt themselves in front of you with blood oozing out..what's your reaction? If its me..I can't describe how I'd feel, most probably just dumbfounded and almost fainting coz I can't see the sight of blood, it weakens me..I juz dun noe why must people resort to suicide..I mean being out of love is a very devastating moment of a person's life but somehow they have to accept some truths that at times things juz doesn't go their way..
Like me..I took risks in my life..even includes my love life...I decided to risk it and pursue my education..my career..I know people needed love in their life..so do I..but even if one day I am totally outta love..I have to accept it..no matter what..I have faith in God..HE has sent each and every one of us here to Earth,with our own respective partners for life..it is just a matter of time and effort for us to discover..I have love with me..now..and I am holding on to it preciously..carefully..scared that it'll be gone..but if it ever did..I will be heartbroken of coz..not too sure if I'll ever love again..coz I am tired of everything that goes back to square one..enuff said of love..it hurts somewhere but at the same time healing..i have to heal fast..for time and tide waits for no man..
Yesterday I dun know what's gotten into me..I mean I used to do this before..I sat down..looked through my whole collection of Majalah Perkahwinan's magazines(yes, I have passion for wedding stuffs)..and started to plan my wedding..(as if I'm getting married)..well maybe I'll start to save up from beginning of next year..so far I've cut down on choco-spending..been months since I've consumed chocolatey stuffs..I'll use less make-ups so I dun have to spend much on it..why I wanna start planning my wedding? well, I guess it'll be much easier when the time comes..I'll juz say yes and go ahead..talking about this..yesterday over @ SunPlaza, I met Hajar..my childhood mate..a good fren to me..lost touch ever since she moved place..boy she did put on weight..but cute as ever..and the best thing is she's engaged..almost 3yrs up..next yr she'll be married off..I did ask her,what makes her wanna end her single life so soon...she told me she's had enuff of enjoyment..well of coz I know because she started out venturing the entertainment life since Secondary 2..that's when she dropped out if not mistaken? I can't remember..but nevertheless, I am proud..at least I know she's ending her life safely married soon...too bad..I might not be able to attend coz I'll be training since then..2004 seems to be another year full of married couples..
The song's playing on my site is from Kci & JoJo - All My Life..i juz love this song.. "All my life, I prayed for someone like U..and I think that I've finally found you.." this really touches my heart..Jenna said her ex dedicated it to her before..I wish to dedicate this song to you, yes, it is for you..We plan, Allah decides..I told my mom yesterday about my relationship problems..I guess, she's leaving me alone to heal my wound..I will tell mom about you sooner or later..for the moment..I nid my gfs..where are you gals? I nid gal's hugs and comfort..Jenna..wreck..m@s..comfort me will ya?? I'm so sensitive now..
Some pray to marry the man they love,
my prayer will somewhat vary..
I humbly pray to God above
that I love the man I marry.
